DEAR SANTA,

i've been really good this year. especially in the past month.
i've been tolerant. i've been forgiving. i've tried my best.

but yesterday was just too much.

you gave my joy by letting me see my loved one. i danced with him.* i was so happy. so overjoyed for the few minutes we had together. it seemed so precious.
thank you santa.

but why must the devil***** called _______ come in to spoil evrything!

wah lau mr santa sir i almost want to kill her leh!
how dare her invade our precious time together?!
whats worse, was that he followed her.

the profanities/vulgaries/swearwords that were screamin in my head than was simplyamazing.

i nvr realised i knew so many.

in between the crying and talking to waheng on my most depressing way home, santa i devised a plan to kill the stupid ***** and my loved one.

honestly it doesnt kill to say goodbye right?
or that "i'm goin off already right?"

WTF, santa. i went off aloof of the threesome.
it was as if that i was the gooseberry la!
CB, (oh shit the profanities again!) cant ***** see WE are talking?!

after crying my eyeballs out and screaming my lungs out at home, i went to tkd.
(eyeball-less and lungs-less)

i messed up so much in tkd. the stupidsir (actually i like him alot) punished me to stand in one elevated corner to scream ten times becos i was "too soft" when shouting the commands. but please la! santa u can see right?

my heart like dropped and break til i got no heart already still can shout happily and kick meh?

so embarrassing la. evryone was lookin at me "screaming"
but in the end also cant hear much cos i really wasnt in the mood.

after tkd i just sat ther frozen and cried.
thank god for the man wearing the "AllDayIDreamAboutSex" shirt, and my tkd ppl.

we went to the coffee shop and scream vulgaries until evryone ther at least stared at us ONCE. it was super scary okay!

think of six people, all wearing impressive white longs pants and various cloured tshirts, 3 tall guys , 1 tall girl, 2 short guy and girl (paiseh ar, yong. u are shorter than meiqin) all screamin vulgaries.

HAHA. the look of the girls in the table opposite us was classic man! (:

thanks santa for giving me such great friends.

but on the way home, i had to pass by his hse.
and just then this song played on my MP3.

What Can I Do
by The Corrs

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better, yeah
If I don't try and I don't hope

*chorus*

No more waiting, no more, aching...
No more fighting, no more, trying...

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just going to let it fly

*repeat chorus*

honestly what can i do?
just tell me and i'll do it.
i'll do anything.
even if it means sacrificing the ***** life, i simply go kill her.
arent nothing is too difficult for me. (:

when evrything seems so depressing, i think coming home was the best. (:
my mum gave me my christmas present. and my brother is back from camp.
it was good.
the family is the family again! (:

our family sat in the living room talkin at the top of our voices trying to get ourselves heard and getting back lost time.
plus my dad offered durianpuffs.
evrything seem better with e durian puffs! (:

i sat in the living room waitin till twelve plus for his reply. (:
i was absorded into the world of david pelzer, the last book in the series "a man called dave".
but all the waiting was exhausting. the crying was exhausting. the hoping and dreamin was exhausting.

i noe later in the day i will be like "was i too harsh?", "was i too crude?"...
i wil regret evrything i type here.
but its my heartfelt thoughts.

whats y o u r s? (:

i foresee me being late for our outing later.
k-boxing! (: with my singing skills, later singapore sure flood with rain again! (:
then still goin sir hse to celebrate his bday.
OMG! the blackbelts party and we are white.
cant wait to see the hunks! (hopefully have la!)

time for the girls now.
CIAO!

thanks santa for being here for me.
all i wan for christmas this year is just one day with my muscleman.
without other ppl like _______ cutting in. (: