LOVE (lŭv) n.
1) A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2) A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

get your m e a n i n g right!
is it honestly so difficult to understand the word?

yesterday was a whirlwind, evrything dint go according to plan, furthermore someone invisible made it worse!

its like i'm carrying you on my back and not in my heart any longer. your invisible weight seems to pull down on me, crushing me, killing me softly(corny!).

i had faith in you, even though the voices around me told me to let go. but the tighter i seem to want to hold on the you, the more u dint seem like the idea of it all.
i cant see you anymore. you are invisible to my eyes.

i want to see you, see all of you, just for a few moments but it seems like by doing so it will kill u cos all my efforts all gone done to waste and you dint make the efforts to do the same.

i wanted to invite you to my hse christmas dinner, but how was i supposed to ask?
i'm a girl for goodness sake, do i have to do evrything?!

i'm listening to the voices now, i'm learning to let go.
anyway u seem more preoccupied in your life, then you do in our world.
i rembered i ask u to prioritise.

PRI·OR·I·TY (prī-ôr'ĭ-tē, -ŏr'-) n. pl. pri·or·i·ties
1) Precedence, especially established by order of importance or urgency.
2) Something afforded or deserving prior attention.

you said i'm 3rd? as if! i'm last you goon!
spend more time with your family and doing sch stuf than with me la!

at least cud have told me then right?
raise my hopes only to dashed it again! ):


ANYWAY! back to yesterday...

anyway ther were too little people who showed up and the kboxing idea was dropped. honestly was becos i haven finish wrapping the presents yet. so evrything got delayed for one hour.

den when we finally decide wher to go, walked for dunno how long to find the stupid place....only to find it closed down. ): wtf.

so we wanted to go mindscafe. but when we walked all the way ther again...it was full. wtf.

so we wanted to go starbucks to chill. but no starbucks nearby. wtf.

so in the end we settled in the polo club. (:

and thankgod the cab uncle that we were on was super nice! cos my phone fell out of my shorts and i dint noe abt it. and i just left it in the cab! thank god i dint put it on silent mode!
just when he was driving off, DYLON msged me! (:
so thank god the cab uncle drove back and returned it to me! (:
it really is the spirit of christmas!!
and thank god for dylon, honestly!

anyway after chilling and exchanging gifts, i told evryone to make our mini time capsules. i bought cards for evryone to write their new year resolution and said we are goin to receive it back next year to see if we fuifilled it. (got the idea from cam trip) anyway we sealed it in a envelope and leave it in deon's locker in the club. one year later, we promised to meet and read it together. (:

it was super fun. evryone but deon and me, did not know what to write. (:
i forgot what i wrote exactly but i noe i asked myself 15questions in total.
strangely i kinda noe the answers to my cam trip letter. at least for one anyway. (:

after a while me and mq gotta go for sir's party already so we left. and the busstop outside poloclub was like a mosquito's nest la! SUPER LOT OF MOZZIES!

both of us killed at least two la! and got at least 5 HUGE "battlescars" . we were thankin our lucky stars when the bus came la! (:

den we went to pauls hse to wait for the rest den make our way to sir's hse.
and i managed to eat cherries, raisins right under pauls nose and he was completely oblivious to it. (:

anyway the blackbelt party was not as scary as i expected. (:
evryone looked amiable and not "blackbelt-ish" but OLD.
we were easily the youngest teens, for evryone else was driving. ):

the food was super good! (:
i think it was the BEST bbq i evr went to.
the prawns ROCKS!

and the party was filled with laughter and BOOZE.
ther were alotalot of booze.
take the ones was had in our 123bbq and times 5, 10???
its freakin loads of booze and hard liquor!
too bad evryone dint allow me to drink much. ): becos i'm a girl.
honestly evryone is super sexist la!

but i still got my fill of the booze becos there was honestly too much already.

and so many were drunk.
yong got drunk becos of one glass of wine and x.o. -_-''
then the whole time he lied on the slided and did a couple of amazing tricks. (:

anyway the blackbelts were amazing la. they hung a papaya on a bamboo stick and ask sir to smash it before we can eat the cake. after many failed attempts to smash the papaya, and considered the fruit flew around alot becos all sir cud do was to kick it off the stick, they asked he to split the bamboo stick. (:

anyway we had cake! and it was the BEST log cake i evr ate! (:
and ther were little kids serving us! haha (: so cute la!

den they started to drink and drink again and honestly it was getting too much cos so many were sprawled on the floor, drunk and sprouting nonsense.

the nonsense that came out of yong's mouth startled me.

"got 2 dogs around...
there are white....
..........
i stil like weixin"

i know none of them read my blog so thank god!

afterwhich he kept askin for me in his drunken stupor, and when i talked to him, he dint even recognise me la! he even punched me. ):
he is so dead when he is sober. (:

NO matter how late it was, meiqin and i knew we had to get them home. honestly it was no easy fret.):

thru out i felt so guilty. sir said to me, what he said when he is drunk is what he honestly feels and he likes you. omg. now sir and all the blackbelts noe abt it. but i hope they dun rember what happened in the morning. ):


G U I L T . . .
G U I L T . . .
G U I L T . . .


tonight's my CHRISTMASdinner with family. (:
i wan to go with deon to his cousin christmas party.
i wan to be out with the tkd gand for countdown.
but family comes first. (:


where are you when i needed you? playing game, i supposed.