Saturday, May 05, 2007 @1:15 AM
i wished my mum had a better plan for me when i was young. i wished she pushed me through my art & music classes, which i recall taking painfully since i was four. i wished she didnt allow me to stop taking those classes, similarily, i wished i had better discipline and continued them.
it was one of those regrets that i will always blame myself for, perhaps for the rest of my life.
i have always wondered, what if i had continued those classes, would i be different from what i am today? (i think the answer's pretty obvious)
my mum said when i was young, i begged her to let me learn piano, which i did and i definitely do not recall me ever begging her.
why didnt i ask her to let me learn ballet instead? *groans*
"what's your dream, dimples?"
i was caught off guard and all i could remember was keane's photo of legoland and how kelvin was raving about it.
so i said my dream was to go legoland.
seems kinda stupid thinking about it now.
my dream, my real one anyway, is to spend the rest of my life on stage performing.
performing what, i'm not very certain.
i want to try acting and pursue theatrestudies in nus.
i want to learn dance in lasalle, where i really want to be right now.
i wished this time round i have to discipline to go through with it till the absolute end.
i have the courage to tell my parents this is what i really want to do.
i will work my ass off just to pay for the school fees, because my dad's retiring.
honestly, i think the army policy is screwed up.
retiring my father at 45? hello, what is he going to do then? he has been working his ass in the force since forever, and then what? how are we going to afford to put two of his three kids into university?
maybe if that irritating shit of a grandma would just hurry up and die, maybe we wouldnt have to pay for her. i hate her. she has been living with us since the start of the year and she is no way grateful for all the sarcrifices we have to make for her. she ignores me all the time and scold me when she finds my existence in my own house irritable.
and she uses my parents money all the time. argh.
well, hurhur that bitch is finally going back home.
barbie and i are so celebrating!
hurry kick their asses back to their home!!!!
i'm feeling so mean today :] :] :]