Monday, July 09, 2007 @4:06 AM
sunday was a blur. a surreal blur. it was tkd grading and boy, this time was the scariest ever. it was the first time me and meiqin were in seperate groups to be tested. (thanks to the geeky girl in my group, *points middlefinger*)and that wasnt the end of it. i had to do the routine THREE times. THREE freaking times. oh gawd, i nearly burst into tears. after the first time, the blackbelt & sir was whispering my mistakes to me and asking me to try again, i told myself, "ok, just one more time, its okay." then after i finished i glared at the stupid judge who is motionin to the blackbelt my mistake, asking me to do again. i nearly died. i heard the children whispering that i'm going to get a double promotion, but i wanted to scream to them that i'm ONLY doing this because i did something so trival-ly wrong. all this time, EVERYONE, esp the kids, had some mistake in their routine but you dont see them doing THREE freaking times. i was sure that i was going to fail. when it was time for the demostration kick and sparring, i gave in my all. i could feel eyes burning into me the whole time. i heard one of the seniors say, "wah lau this girl in practice like....den here like so aggressive". well, she is probably right. i didnt try at all during practices. i mean how can you bear to hit your own friends? but since i was doomed to fail anyway, why not vent some of my anger?i mean the judge was kinda bias. so many people did wrong and he HAS TO pick on me. so yeah, i tried fighting. luckily my partner is like the best partner ever. (:after thewhole thing end, i slowly made me away up towards tim. and yeah i cried my heart out. of course i did! in my head i was doomed to fail.den i watched meiqin, waiting for her. the judge was bias again. she had to do twice with this other guy, who is like FREAKING OLD and TALL...and so O-L-D. for a man like that, you'll think he'll have some guts. but nope, he wears padding. -.- and his opponent was meiqin? oh gawd, cant they see the difference in HEIGHT? blind ar? see, this proves how bias the judge was then!so i cried, cried...and oh yeah cried. i even tried listening to "big girls dont cry" to cheer myself up. but since i was with such great company, i didnt really have to resort to that. i had my pot of laughter beside me and a good old pinching bag, what more could i ask for? (:at the end of it all, we waited patiently to hear the results, (like we always do from sir and the blackbelts).at first, the blackbelt motioned that i passed and meiqin got a double. i was crushed. oh gawd, i dont want to be a different grade. i'll die without her. it is NOT being melodramatic or any of that psycho crap, i WILL die.we waited again for confirmation, the blackbelt strut towards us. (just becos he is relatively goodlookin/fit/agoodfighter, he thinks that walking is just not him. walking equates to cool strut. but then again, he is goodlookin, fit AND a good fighter who had/is having a girlfriend with boobs the size of honeydews, so i guess he can walk any way he wants. i wouldnt even mind being HIS girlfriend. but DANG, i dont have boobs the size of honeydews. so, oh well. )he told me that BOTH of us got a double.we were SHOCKED.i thought i was going to fail. i dint believe it and kept asking him. i guessed everyone got frustrated as we kept asking, and asking and ASKING. of course, we had to be sure. it's really hard to get a double. i mean very little people gets it and they had to be really good. meiqin can whack balls, i'm sure but moi? i can hardly spar, except for that day.at first, i was relieved. then, i felt happy! then...i felt so scared.i dont even want to imagine how practice will be like for us now. i cant imagine what standards we have to live up to now. how we really have to put in so much effort to get our blackbelts because we missed two vital routines out of the nine/eight we have to know for our blackbelts examination.i love tkd, i really do. but sometimes, knowing that those around you during lessons could kick the crap out of you, maybe even knocking the daylights out of you, it is so scary.oh well, we are blue belts now!!!----------------------------------------------its not only tkd, its school, its alevels.there's so much, and so little time. i'm glad i got my studying buddy! (:tom its cold war eh, and maths. DREAD.but we will reach our aims!!! (:ONE MOREWEEK TO THE GREATEST DAY KNOWN TO MAN (: ------16 JULY!!!HURHUR!so what are YOU getting me eh?(: